I have never really spoken about this on the internet. I was reading today and I felt I may as well let you know that yes, I am baptized, but I do have problems with how exactly I did it (or rather, re-did it) and you'll get a few thoughts along the way.

I was baptized (by immersion in the Trinitarian formula) at about the age of 6. I'll admit, it was a fear motivated baptism but as I have now come to know it was valid nonetheless. I had made a "profession of faith" and the "Holy Ghost" seemed to be evident in my life. I am not denying that a work of the Spirit was present in this as I honestly believe I was then initiated into the communion of the church catholic but the theology present within that particular community led me to subsequent years of doubt and fear. No one should have to suffer that. No one.

I went through a phase which I interpreted at the time as rebellion and what my pastor called apostasy (I didn't believe in the Trinity or the resurrection) I was a bad charismatic/Pentecostal. I felt like I had lost my status in Christ; I was the branch cut away to be burnt. I was going to be spit out of his mouth.

I entered a Southern Baptist church rather haphazardly and I have yet to see whether or not any good has come out of it. I learned how to lead there. I learned that I must be re-batized there also. And so I did. They felt it to be godly to baptize in what is termed "believer's baptism."

What do I think of my re-baptism? I think of it now as glorified hot tub time with a really nice man from Oklahoma. I don't give it much credence. It wasn't a significant time in my life. I regret it, to be honest. It may have been a terrible mistake which caused me even more doubt as to when I was "saved" or what not.

I think that the Holy Spirit actually does something at the time of baptism. I think that there is really a shift in one's eternal destiny at that sacramental moment. It's something Holy and it's not of human origin. God does something to change what was once at enmity and brings it (in a constant journey of discipleship) back to his peace. My first baptism was valid and holy. I will acknowledge it as the one where I was truly welcomed into our Mother, the Church.

I would like to now offer one or two observations, having undergone the pain which such destructive un-theologies can bring (this isn't a rant against credo-baptism but the poor counseling which often accompanies it)

1) All infants ought to be baptized, as our faith tells us.
2) Children under 15 ought not be baptized if they weren't as infants.

(oops... looks like three)

3) Proper preparation ought to be offered to the those about to enter communion.

Please. Don't cause another to doubt like I and countless others have. Ministers, perform your duties with purity and love. Don't do to your congregants what has been done to so many in our nation (as well as other places though perhaps not as bad) Preach peace and security not doubt and instability. Be Christ on earth.